Grader 2.95™
The fantasy software for
all your grading desires. Screenshots below illustrate "in your dreams"
applications. When the grading gets tough, the tough go to "Grader 2.95™".
New! in 2.95...when you've
read one paper or exam too many, Grader 2.95™ includes escape clauses...
Order your copy today!
For PC or Mac.
Available with Castle
in the Sky Screensaver™ and Daydream 2600™. Sail through grading
this year, figuratively.
Technical Support for
Grader 2.95 is provided by your institution's center for teaching excellence.
Exclusively available
from Brainstorm Ink.
Offer void where prohibited
by reality.
FAQ: Frequently
Asked Questions By Teachers Using Grader 2.95
Tell me again
why I went into teaching?
Look at the shiny object--
you are growing sleepy, very sleepy....you went into teaching for the joy of
evaluating student work. It is thrilling to assign value to student papers and
tests. When I snap my fingers you will wake up and complete all your grading
by the end of the day, feel very relaxed, and give extra credit to the next
student you see. <snap>
Is cleaning
the bathroom a worthy excuse for avoiding grading papers?
Absolutely,
as is defrosting the freezer, cleaning the garage and any other household chores
that have been neglected for 6 months. It is well known that these become urgent
tasks when faced with the alternative of a stack of blue books. It is even quite
acceptable to clean out one's email inbox. Do not, however, forward humorous
emails to others as they have their own "urgent" housework to accomplish.
How about
running to the grocery for aspirin?
No, because
you have aspirin in your medicine cabinet. The excuse must offer plausible deniability.
Can I finish
200 5-page papers by 8 a.m. tomorrow if I try really hard?
Yes, as long
as you have plenty of comfort food and good music. And it helps to ignore phone
calls and other visitors....including the ones in white coats.
May I share
humorous student mistakes with others?
Student work
is never funny...never ever funny.*
*certified
official public response.
How could
the students have gotten that concept wrong? I went over it thoroughly!
The brain is
a mysterious organ with more connections than atoms in the universe. If you
want a concept to be located by the student in the morass that is the learner's
brain, then you have to repeat it a half dozen times in different formats and
with varied examples....and magic dust, a lot of magic dust (See Grader 2.95...Rubric...Magic
Dust).
How come the
students who do the extra credit are the ones who don't need it...and the ones
who don't do it are the ones who need it?
I think it
has to do with the Coriolis effect.
I forgot,
why do I have to grade these papers/exams?
Ummm, let me get back to
you on that one.