90% of all statistics are made up.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

A curved line is the loveliest distance between two points.

-- Mae West, Unknown , born August 17, 1892

A figure of speech can often get into a crack too small for logic.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

A line is a dot which goes for a walk.

-- Klee, Unknown , Unknown

A teacher's day is one-half bureaucracy, one-half crisis, one-half monotony, and one-eightieth epiphany. Never mind the arithmetic.

-- Susan Ohanian, Unknown , Unknown

All generalizations are false.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

Anyone who cannot cope with math is not fully human--At best he is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe, and not make messes in the house.

-- Robert Heinlein, Unknown , Unknown

Appeal to reason in your advertising and you appeal to 4% of the human race.

-- Advice given at a 1923 conference on advertising., Unknown , Unknown

Aristotle noted that it was a mark of understanding to know what sorts of things can be proven and made precise, and what sorts, on the other hand, require our tolerance of vagueness and probable conclusions.

-- John Churchill, From the Secretary: Inspiring Conversations in The Key Reporter. Vol 67, Number 4. P. 2., Summer 2002

As soon as you understand 2 x 4 you can't believe there was a time when you didn't understand it.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

Baruch's Observation: If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

Basic Law of Construction: Cut it large and kick it into place.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

Beauty is in the details.

-- German proverb, Unknown , Unknown

Before the curse of statistics fell upon mankind we lived a happy, innocent life, full of merriment and go and informed by fairly good judgment.

-- Hilaire Belloc, Unknown , Unknown

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

Don't presume that I will respond in a logical or rational manner.

-- on a Button, Unknown , Unknown

Don’t know much about history. Don’t know much biology. Don’t know science books. Don’t know about the French I took. But I do know I love you And I do know if you love me too, what a wonderful world this would be. Don’t know much about geography. Don’t know much trigonometry. Don’t know much about algebra. Don’t know what a slide ruler is for. But I do know one and one is two And if this one could be with you, what a wonderful world this would be. Now I don’t claim to be an A student. But I’m trying to be. Maybe by being an A student, baby, You’ll give your love to me.

-- Joel Landry, song "What a Wonderful World", Unknown

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but going faster is a maniac?

-- George Carlin, Unknown , Unknown

Every piece of the puzzle that doesn't fit gets you closer to the answer.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

Facing up to your mistakes keeps you from repeating them. Successful people make plenty of mistakes but hardly ever the same one twice.

-- Debra A. Benton, Lions Don't Need to Roar. Warner Books, 1993

Getting lost teaches you how to read a map.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

God is in the details.

-- Mies Van Der Rohe, Unknown , Unknown

Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five.

-- John Updike, Unknown , Unknown

Grabel's Law: 2 is not equal to 3--not even for large values of 2.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical questions?

-- Geroge E. Bradley, print media column, "Ever Wonder?", Unknown

He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts-- for support rather than illumination.

-- Andrew Lang, Unknown , Unknown

I am the very model of a modern Major-General, ....I 'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news ­ With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.

-- W.S. Gilbert, The Major General's Song from The Pirates of Penzance, 1879

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

I do not mind lying, but I hate inaccuracy.

-- Samuel Butler, Unknown , born December 4, 1835

I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

I never did very well in math--I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

-- Calvin Trillin, Unknown , Unknown

If you began to count dollar bills at the rate of one a second, it would take you "only" 11.57 days to count to $1 million. At that same rate, it would take you 31.69 *years* to count to $1 trillion.

-- Unknown magazine article., Unknown , Unknown

If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog? 5? no, 4. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.

-- Abraham Lincoln, Unknown , Unknown

If you can't count, they can cheat you. If you can't read, they can beat you.

-- Toni Morrison, Unknown , Unknown

If you keep missing, get closer to the basket.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

If you want to zoom down the expert slope tomorrow, you have to fall down the bunny slope today.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

In order to appreciate the English language one has to have a certain contempt for logic.

-- Lin Yutang, Unknown , born October 10, 1895

It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.

-- J. R. R. Tolkien, Unknown , Unknown

It is easier to perceive error than to find truth, for the former lies on the surface and is easily seen, while the latter lies in the depth, where few are willing to search for it.

-- Johann von Goethe, Unknown , Unknown

It is hard to convince a high school student that he will encounter a lot of problems more difficult than those of algebra and geometry.

-- Edgar W. Howe, Unknown , Unknown

It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another.

-- George Bush, Sr., U.S. President, Unknown , Unknown

Knowledge rests not upon truth alone, but upon error also.

-- C.G. Jung, Unknown , Unknown

Logic is like the sword: those who appeal to it shall perish by it.

-- Samuel Butler, Unknown , Unknown

Logic is the art of going wrong with confidence.

-- Joseph Wood Krutch, Unknown , born November 25, 1893

Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human understanding.

-- Ambrose Bierce, Unknown , born June 24, 1842

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

Lovers in triangle not on square.

-- Fortune Cookie, Unknown , Unknown

Math is fun when you're counting jellybeans.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

Mathematics is the door and the key to the sciences.

-- Roger Bacon, Unknown , Unknown

Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.

-- Tim Allen, Unknown , Unknown

Miss Swanson, I don't understand the fourth problem. Of course, I don't really understand the other three problems, either...Actually, I don't understand math at all. Let's face it...I don't even understand school.

-- Peppermint Patty (Charles Schultz), Peanuts cartoon, Unknown

Multiplication is only easy if you're a rabbit.

-- Anonymous, Unknown , Unknown

Nos numerus sumus et fruges consumere nati. (We are just statistics, born to consume resources.)

-- Horace, Epistles I.2, Unknown

One fifth of the people are against everything all the time.

-- Robert F. Kennedy, Unknown , born November 20, 1925

Order is the shape upon which beauty depends.

-- Pearl Buck, Unknown , Unknown

Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.

-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC, Unknown , Unknown

Plato used the dialogue format because the exchange of views, the posing and answering of questions, showed that understanding is a living, dynamic process. He distrusted writing because the settled character of the written word makes it look as if truth can be fixed and made to stand still. It is worth remembering that this greatest advocate of the objective reality of truth also believed that our access to that truth was sustained in reasoned discussion.

-- John Churchill, From the Secretary: Inspiring Conversations in The Key Reporter. Vol 67, Number 4. P. 2., Summer 2002

Problems are to the mind what exercise is to the muscles; they toughen and make strong.

-- Norman Vincent Peale, Unknown , Unknown

Quantum mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

Remember half the people you know are below average.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

Science, engineering, technology. All worthless unless they make you feel something.

-- BMW ad, Brill's Content, p. 16, 1998, November

Scientists are the easiest to fool. They think in straight, predictable, directable, and therefore misdirectable, lines. The only world they know is the one where everything has a logical explanation and things are what they appear to be.

-- James P. Hogan, Code of the Lifemaker, Unknown

Shortcuts aren't always.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

Statistics are like alienists--they will testify for either side.

-- Fiorello La Guardia, Unknown , Unknown

Statistics is the art of lying by means of figures.

-- Dr. Wilhelm Stekhel, Unknown , Unknown

Teachers and learners are correlates, one of which was never intended to be without the other.

-- Jonathan Edwards, Unknown , Unknown

The advantages of being a statistician: You can legally comment on someone’s posterior distribution. You don’t have to be right, just close. You always wanted to learn the Greek alphabet anyway. Being deviant is normal.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

The common condition of things that did not happen is that you cannot disprove them.

-- Morimer Zuckerman, USNews & World Report, 1998, January 12

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

-- Jay Leno, Unknown , Unknown

The object of statistics is to discover methods of condensing information concerning large groups of allied facts into brief and compendious expressions suitable for discussions.

-- Francis Galton, Unknown , Unknown

The race may not be to the swift nor victory to the strong, but that's how you bet.

-- Damon Runyon, Unknown , born October 4, 1884

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

The user will forget mathematics in proportion to the complexity of the calculator.

-- John L. Shelton, Unknown , Unknown

The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.

-- Fortune Cookie, Unknown , Unknown

The world is more than a game of cards. History is more than a record of gambling operations.

-- Arthur Twining Hadley, Unknown , 1903

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

There are only two things that are infinite: the universe and stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

-- Albert Einstein, Unknown , Unknown

There is no more effective medicine to apply to feverish public sentiment than figures.

-- Ida Tarbell, Unknown , born November 5, 1857

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with!

-- Age 6, Unknown , Unknown

Three hops get you just as far as one leap.

-- Cynthia Copeland Lewis, Really important stuff my kids have taught me, 1994

Today I will remind myself and others that mistakes are lessons too.

-- Linda Conway, Unknown , Unknown

Two people go into an empty room and later three people come out. A biologist says, "They reproduced." A physicist says, "Measurement error." A mathematician says, "Now if someone goes into the room, it'll be empty."

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

We can now prove that large numbers of Americans are dying from sitting on their behinds.

-- Bruce B. Dan, M.D., Unknown , Unknown

We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.

-- Jason Kidd, Unknown , Unknown

Wethern's Law: Assumption is the mother of all screw-ups.

-- Unknown , Unknown , Unknown

What we hope ever to do with ease, we must learn first to do with diligence.

-- Samuel Johnson, Unknown , Unknown

When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.

-- Sam Levenson, Unknown , Unknown

When you do not know what you are doing, do it neatly.

-- Unknown, Unknown , Unknown

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible

-- Frank Zappa, Unknown , Unknown

Without geometry, life is pointless.

-- Unknown punster, Unknown , Unknown

You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.

-- Ellen DeGeneres, Unknown , Unknown